THEY'RE SENSATIONAL

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laurenhooper:

awlhf:

supervengers:

omvr:

yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm

yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.

And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.

this is the best thing ive ever heard

(Source: campaignomar, via myblossom)

iwishihadafather:

thatcarlymay:

iwishihadafather:

"It’s a metaphor," the terrorist tells the FBI, "You put the bomb in the building but don’t blow it up."

Of all the shitty metaphor jokes, this is the shittiest.

"It’s a metaphor," I said to the annoying white girl, "I act like I care about your opinion but I actually don’t."

(via asdfghjkl-jill)